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May 16, 201015th Anniversary Reconciling Sunday
“Believe Out Loud”
Reverend Michael D. PowellMatthew 5:14-16 |
I was talking with Dee Crooch earlier in the week. He and Karen had gone to Sweet Home UMC last Sunday, as they celebrated becoming our very newest Reconciling Congregation. Dee was telling me about how it was a fabulous celebration, full of heartfelt personal testimonies and stories of how the church had saved and transformed the lives of so many there that day. Then Dee made a comment that really made me stop and reflect, because I knew immediately that what he said was true. He said, “You know, Morningside lives in a comfortable bubble. We forget what it’s like out there.”
This morning we’re celebrating the 15th anniversary of Morningside’s decision to become one of the first Reconciling Congregations in the Oregon Idaho Annual Conference. We need to be reminded of just how significant this Welcoming ministry of Inclusion and Reconciliation is. So, with that in mind, I’ve asked four of our members to share their personal testimonies. Nancy Sutton is one of our very newest members. In fact, she and her partner, Laurel Weir, were just received into membership last Sunday! Talk about putting people to work; join one week and be asked to preach the next! We need to hear why Nancy and Laurel became members here, after doing a lot of church shopping. Also, Mary Jo Gilson was one of the key players in our decision to become a Reconciling when her son, who was raised in the church, contracted AIDS. Nancy and Mary Jo will share at both services. Also, two members of our Reconciling Team, Gwen Christensen in the 8:30 and Arlen Hollinshead in the 11 o’clock, will share their testimonies. Arlen was Lay Leader 15 years ago and helped shepherd us through one of the most significant chapters in our history.
After they’ve told their stories, if there’s any time left, I’m going to share just a portion of Marilyn Bennett’s testimony, from her book, We Were Baptized Too, with a forward by Desmond Tutu. Marilyn is the Executive Director of Perkins Relations at Southern Methodist University, Perkins School of Theology. The following are her eloquent and prophetic words to the church she so dearly loves, in spite of the ways in which it has excluded her:
“On a crisp Dakota Sunday morning, tightly wrapped against the November cold, I was carried off to the town’s Methodist church to the delight of the baptizing family f God. Cheery smiles and wiggling fingers greeted my arrival on this important day. The hymns in the morning light sounded for me the story of God’s love, of the Savior’s compassion. I was in the House of Unconditional Love, the Church, bundled in joy and expectation.
“The pastor’s strong arms kept me safe even as his wet, dripping hand touched my silky curled head, and his booming voice spoke God’s blessing. The chorus of congregants rang out their earnest commitment to love and guide this little one, and God smiled that they had once again remembered the love that has no end.
“My brothers and sister stood proudly showing off their baby sister; my parents smiled at each other and their many loved ones around them: another child promised to God, another reminder of God’s grace for all.
“Thirty two years later, I remember my baptism. The church does not…….I remember my baptism. The church does not. Why else would it deny me my identity? Why else would it so adamantly preach “Don’t ask, don’t tell?”
“How does anyone become baptized? How can anyone claim to be worthy of the touch of God? Is it not God who claims worth, and does not God claim each infant, child, and adult as sacred and worthy of supreme love?
“I believe this. I believe to the very core that God loves me and that this love is as precious as fine jewels. This love is the love to be emulated in all our relationship. This love is to be a means of grace, a balm to our souls, an inspiration to our hearts, and a rock on which to stand. I do believe that Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. I do believe that God will never forsake me, never leave me. And this is why I have such hope for the Church, the body of Christ, which is to exemplify this love: the body that is to further this love at all costs.
“Where does the Church go wrong? Is it in baptizing lesbian infants, or in not fulfilling the covenant made at an infant’s baptism? Is it in asking the child grown up to give of her prayers, presence, gifts, and service, but not of her true identity, her authentic being in the world? Is it, in fact, in asking her to a silent conspirator to her own demise, her own un-health; teaching her self-hated rather than self-love, teaching her neglect of self, teaching her to mask her identity with “faithful” platitudes from societal standards instead of from a loving heart?
“Now, the time has come to tell my story, breaking the tyranny of silence to stand against shameful, injustice. It is time to proclaim God’s goodness over the Church’s inhospitality.
“I was raised on United Methodist Sunday school literature, vacation Bible schools, red Kool-Aid in Dixie cups, and homemade Christmas ornaments. My faith was formed on choir retreats, mission trips, and youth programs. My faith was tested by campus ministry bus breakdowns and all-night hunger vigils. Cross talks, hunger walks, lock-ins, lock-outs, seminary study groups, and denominational conference presentations marked my years with meaning and challenge, creating a loving and seeking faith. But with all the richness of my church life, I still stand at a turning point, calling into questions the church’s rejection of its baptismal promise, the breaking of a vow that the family of God upheld as I grew to adulthood.
“There are a few United Methodist churches that open the doors – Reconciling Congregations to be sure. But others, even the ones that “let gays and lesbians in” do not have enough self-awareness to see that they have pushed Jesus away as the gatekeeper and replaced him with the whims of their own bias and prejudice.
Marilyn goes on, but you get the idea. I thank God that Morningside made the courageous decision 15 years ago to become one of the pioneers of the Reconciling Congregation movement. May we never take this “comfortable bubble” for granted. Lives are still being transformed, lives are still being saved.
Testimonial by Arlen Hollinshead
Having been born and raised in small, rural, basically
conservative communities of Central and Eastern Oregon, I honestly don't
believe I even heard the words "homosexual," or "gay,"
until I was in college. Even when I heard the words there and understood their
meaning, I didn't give them much thought. I guess I naively figured people had
the right to live life and love whomever they wished.
Many years passed until my daughter entered high school. There was a boy who
became a good friend of hers and was her chief supporter when she hit some
speed bumps along the way. I liked him and tried to make him feel welcome on
the few occasions he was in my home. After graduation, I said something to my
daughter about him and, in the course of the conversation, she said I might be
unaware of the fact he was gay, but had to keep it under wraps, for fear of
being verbally, or even physically, abused over it. I asked if their friendship
was based largely on the fact they liked each other, but was also, in part, a
"cover" for him. She smiled and said she guessed so.
My thought was-- how unfortunate people had to live in fear of being who they
are. It was then I decided I needed to be more pro-active about equal rights
for all and, as a member of the Christian community, in the words of a
well-known song, "be willing to march into hell for a heavenly
cause." The words I had read from a 24-year-old gay man, "It was such
a relief to know I could be a Christian who was gay, rather than just accepting
the fact I was gay and trying to be a Christian," gave me the incentive to
help Morningside become a safe place for people, regardless of sexual
orientation, to worship the God who created us all.
It so happened I was Lay Leader here at Morningside at the time. It also so
happened we had begun what turned into an 18-month process of exploring
becoming a Reconciling Congregation and a time of educating us all about issues
surrounding homosexuality and the many injustices our GLBTQQ friends faced.
Yes, I had some very intense conversations with folks over the matter,
especially the day we had a forum on the fact homosexuality was NOT a choice,
but was grounded in other factors. I admit that was the day I lost it in a
heated debate! We also made it clear being an RC was not only about providing a
safe place for gays to worship, but extended to being fully open and welcoming
to people of various skin colors, people who were disenfranchised, those with
physical limitations, those who were exploring a different denomination, etc.
On the Sunday of our all-church conference to take the vote, Kate Conolly and I
gave a joint sermon, centered around issues
facing the GLBTQQ community. Imagine our joy when the vote was taken and it was
an overwhelming 90 to 2, or 92 to 5, in favor of becoming a Reconciling
Congregation! It was also a joy we didn't lose members in droves, as some had
feared. I am only aware of two who left and, frankly, I think they planned to
leave anyway and just used the vote as their excuse to do so! Yes, that was 15
years ago!
Much progress has been made in attaining not special, but EQUAL, rights for
GLBTQQ people and, every now and then, there are glimmers of hope for
furtherance of acceptance and recognition of the fact we are ALL God's people.
But, reality is, we're not all the way there yet and much still remains to be
done. Let us not become complacent and let's not assume, just because we here
at Morningside are enlightened, everyone is! Our Christian responsibilities go
beyond the walls of this wonderful church and we need to not hesitate to
BELIEVE OUT LOUD!
Happy Anniversary, Morningside!
Testimonial by Mary Jo Gilson
I’m here to tell you about our family’s involvement in Morningside becoming a Reconciling Congregation. Layton and I had 3 boys who all grew up in this church. As Steve, our youngest, was growing up I wondered now and then if he might be gay, but then put it out of my mind. Steve graduated from Willamette University and we still didn’t know he was gay. I had no idea of the turmoil that was going on in his mind because he had come to believe that God did not love him.
After College he was an intern at a conservative church that preached that homosexuality was a sin. He was trying to prove that he really was good. Finally, when he was 23 and afraid he was having an emotional breakdown, he confided in us that he was Gay. He was relieved when we didn’t tell him to get out. I shared with our pastor, Kate Conolly, that Steve was gay, and she said, “Have you ever thought it might be OK? I hadn’t ever thought of that was true.
A year later he was accepted to graduate school at USC where he went to get a Master’s Degree in Cinema and Film. For the first time he was around many other gays, many of whom were as confused as Steve. After 2 ½ difficult years, in 1989, he got his Master’s Degree and has been doing editing work for television and for one movie ever since. As time went by, he was learning that not all churches think it is sinful to be gay. He was learning that maybe he was ok, but underneath, he still had a lot of hate for himself, and was not really convinced that God loved him
In about 1989 he contracted AIDS, but he didn’t tell us – he was still afraid of our reaction. His disease progressed slowly and finally, in 1993, his counselor told him he must tell us so we could get used to this bad news. So, in September of that year he called us and we learned what we had been afraid of, Steve had AIDS. Talking with Kate, she asked us what we would think about telling the church? I gulped. I had only shared with a few people. We decided to call Steve to ask what he thought. We all decided we believed in the power of prayer, so we needed to tell the Church. The next Sunday, Kate announced to the congregation that Steve, who they had known all his life, was gay and that he also had AIDS. We were surprised by the overwhelming support we received – it was amazing.
It was about this same time that a small group on Morningsiders was talking about asking the Administrative Board if we could study about being a Reconciling Congregation. Layton and I spent the next week in California with Steve and I asked him if he would have something to say to the Administrative Bd. He disappeared into his room and came out 2 hours later with a letter telling what it would have meant to him if he had heard from our church that it was OK to be gay. This is part of his letter.
To the Administrative Board:
What no one knew as I was growing up, was that this nice little boy had a secret. From as early as age five I knew I was different from other boys. Later I would understand that this difference was that I am gay. In High School I was a straight A student, class president, and voted most likely to succeed, but probably the strongest message I was receiving was that this secret feeling I had inside made me unlovable, dirty, and rejected by God. No good deed or impressive achievement could erase the fear that this secret would be discovered.
When I became 23, the pressure was too great and I finally told my parents I was gay. This began a long difficult process of discovering who I really am, who God really is, and how God feels about me. I want you to understand how much it hurts to be judged for something you cannot change about yourself, and to be told that God does not love you because of who you are inside. For me, this experience created loneliness, self-hatred and guilt.
Being a reconciling congregation can do more than you will ever realize to help a person release this guilt and self-hatred and once again embrace the God he felt forced to relinquish earlier in life. It requires opening your minds to the radical all-inclusive love of Jesus. But in doing so, you may literally be allowing a persecuted and rejected child of God to return home to the family of God. I encourage you to take this step. Sincerely, Steve Gilson
We brought the letter home to the Ad Board meeting. It was read by Kate, and made quite an impact on the board. After some discussion, they voted to study about becoming a RC. We spent the next 1½ years studying. I decided I should write what I believed about Homosexuality and ended up with this 10 page paper, “A Mother’s View of Homosexuality”. It was available to church members (and I can still give anyone a copy if you are interested. On several occasions, as our study progressed, I spoke about my views and what I had learned. The church knew I wasn’t one to speak out very often, and so when I did get up and take an active part, they really listened. In 1995 the church voted to be a RC.
To let you know what happened with Steve. We talked with him about where he wanted to die. He decided he wanted to come home when he needed to. We Remodeled a Bathroom, adding a shower & fixed the Family Room for his bed. The AIDS continued to progress slowly. Then in 1996 a miracle happened. He was accepted to a study of the drugs called Protease Inhibitors. They saved his life. We are so thankful we still have Steve with us.
After the vote, we thought about how helpful it would have been to us if we had had a confidential group where we could talk about homosexuality and our children, and about what we could do to help educate people. So, Layton and I started a Support Group for Parents of Homosexual Children in 1995 that met every month in our home. Now we live at Capital Manor and have started a group there too, so now we have 2 groups meeting regularly in our Villa at Capital Manor. We would be very glad to have any of you with homosexual children join us. Just give me a call, and I can tell you when the next meeting will be.
We are so thankful that Morningside made the decision to be a Reconciling Congregation. We all hear messages about God’s love for everyone and now kids learn that God loves them even if they are Gay.
Testimonial by Gwen Christensen
What being a member of a “Reconciling Congregation“ means to me
Many years ago I was a member of a rather conservative church where the congregation discovered their pastor was gay by reading the headlines in the morning newspaper. It was a shock to me as the pastor was a very dear friend in great pain. I began to have lots of questions, and the answers were not available in the church. I could handle the small crises in life, but had always looked for the church’s help in dealing with the difficult issues. I have since made my peace with that church, and know that they did the best that they could with what resources they had at that time.
Well, Morningside not only could do better, but stepped out boldly to do better. Morningside has always been accepting of me whatever I believed. I heard words that “everyone is welcome here.” However, that welcome became real partly in our intentional and deliberate move to become a Reconciling Congregation. I know at Morningside that I am loved and that I don’t have to pretend to be something I am not. The next step might be to be intentional about reaching out to other disenfranchised groups.
Testimonial by Nancy Sutton (Available soon)